


Prank Wars

by Suzelle



Category: Avengers (Comics), Captain Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Bruce is a giant troll, Gen, Pranks and Practical Jokes, carolcon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-26
Updated: 2013-07-26
Packaged: 2017-12-21 10:16:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/899131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suzelle/pseuds/Suzelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce decides to take revenge on those responsible for the Daily Bugle "Naked Justice" photo. He may or may not succeed in pranking Carol.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Prank Wars

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KayQy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KayQy/gifts).



> This is a gift for kayquimi for CarolCon! I'd had the idea of Bruce trying to prank Carol after Avengers Assemble for awhile now...I hope you enjoy! Happy CarolCon!

“Hey, Stark, you seen Bruce around lately?” Carol asked Tony. It had been three days since their big showdown against Yun Guang Han, and she hadn’t had a chance to talk to Banner since.

“Try the kitchen,” Tony replied, “I think he’s still drowning himself in despair with carmel and walnuts again.”

 “Thanks,” Carol called behind her as she headed towards the elevator. She stepped out into the kitchen to see Bruce sitting at the counter. He gave her a little wave as he caught sight of her.

“Hoped I’d find you here,” Carol smiled as she sat down next to Bruce, “It’s been a bid madcap mopping things up the past few days, didn’t know if I’d get a chance to catch you."

“As long as Jessica keeps this ice cream up here, you know where you can find me,” Bruce smiled as he raised a spoonful of Blue Bell towards her, “What’s up, Carol?” 

“Ran into Tony last time I was up here,” Carol said, “He said you’d been feeling a bit down ever since we took out Yun. You all right?”

“What?” Bruce looked up, startled. “Oh, I’m fine, Carol. Tony and I talked about it and y’know, it actually helped for once.”

“Who’d have thought,” Carol chuckled, “So that’s not despair-flavored ice cream anymore?”

“Nope,” Bruce shook his head, “Thanks for asking, though—I appreciate that. But I really am fine now. And hey, Jessica’ll vouch for that if you don’t believe me.”

“Glad to hear it,” Carol patted his arm, “And hey—no hard feelings about the Daily Bugle thing, right? I know Stark has no shame, but the Hulk seemed pretty embarrassed by the whole fiasco.”

“Hey, a bet’s a bet, right?” Bruce smiled ruefully, “Don’t worry about it, Carol.”

“You sure?” Carol pressed, “I’m not one to go around feeling guilty after some good-natured hijinks, but I don’t want you feeling worse than you were already because of this…"

“That’s all it was, Carol,” Bruce gave her a smile that was far to serene for Carol’s tastes, “Good-natured fun. The Big Guy’ll get over it, and it wasn’t my face on the front page. We’re good.”

“Okay,” Carol eyed him suspiciously, “Good to know.”

***

“Thought you weren’t coming in today,” Jess said as Carol sat down beside her in the coffee room.

"Wanted to see if I could catch Bruce before I tackled the rest of my to-do list,” Carol said, “Wanted to make sure he was okay after the way everything played out last week. He said you could vouch for him being fine?”

“Mmm,” Jess stirred her coffee absently as she doodled absently on the side of the crossword puzzle.

“Are you even paying attention?” Carol rolled her eyes.

“I’m paying attention,” Jess said with a small grin, “I’m just not paying attention to you at the moment. You don’t happen to know a nine-letter word for ‘abrupt reversals of opinion,’ do you?”

Carol grinned back. “If you think I’m gonna give that to you now…”

But she broke off as Peter Parker burst into the room, head bent over a Daily Bugle and grumbling to himself.

“Can’t believe this…he got _every single photo…_ ”

“Something wrong?” Jess raised an eyebrow.

“Hey, putting you two on notice,” Peter said, “Banner’s on the warpath."

“He’s _what?_ ” Jess’s head shot up from the newspaper.

“Relax, not a real warpath,” Peter said, “But I heard Stark shouting about how all of his pants have gone missing from his closet, and if you look at all my pictures I’ve put into the Daily Bugle lately you’ll notice they’ve got that image of Stark and the Hulk photoshopped into every background.”

“How the hell did he pull that one off?” Jess asked, curious.

“Guessing he hacked my files after I sent them in,” he said, “it’s Banner, he’s a fair hand with tech. Looks like he’s stealthily getting his revenge on all of us responsible for ‘Naked Justice.’”

“Photobombing isn’t exactly stealthy,” Carol raised her eyebrows.

“Yeah, well, for a guy who usually vents his frustrations by flattening cars, it’s pretty darn subtle,” he shook his head, “and honestly, I’d prefer a couple photobombed front pages to that. Just saying—keep a sharp eye out, all right? Wouldn’t have pegged Banner to have a pranking sense of humor, but I think that’s how he managed to get all of us.”

“Please,” Carol scoffed, “No one’s successfully pranked me in decades, and don’t think Stark or Jess here haven’t tried. It’s gonna take a lot more than a bent-out-of-shape science nerd to catch me.”

“Taking bets now,” Jess announced.

***

Carol wasted no time in marshaling her forces.

“Captain Marvel!” Kit shouted gleefully on the phone. Carol grinned.

“Hey, Kit,” she said, “how it going, partner?"

“Good,” Kit said, “Mom and I are baking cookies today!”

“Oooh, you’ll save some for me, right?"

“If we haven’t eaten them all first!”

Carol laughed.

“Hey, Kit, I’ve got a job for you,” she said, “Would you be able to be my lookout for the day?”

“Yeah!” Kit said, “What’m I looking out for?”

“Anyone trying to deliver a package or something like that for me,” Carol said, “You see them come up to the apartment, you tell me and your mom right away. Can you do that?”

“You got it, partner!”

“Great, kid,” Carol said, “you’re the best. Can you put your mom on the phone for me before you run off to be lookout?”

“Sure,” Kit said, “Bye, Captain Marvel!”

“What was that all about?” Marina asked.

“Figured Kit might have more fun being lookout than you,” Carol said, “Can you two do me a favor today, Marina? I have a feeling some people might be trying to make deliveries or get into my apartment today. Whatever it is, can you just…tell them they can’t deliver it unless I’m at home? Or something like that?”

“Sure, Carol,” Marina sounded suspicious, “but what’s going on?”

“Nothing big, don’t worry,” Carol reassured her, “But I think another Avenger’s got a bone to pick, and I’d rather avoid anything he’s got to give me right now.”

***

“Hey Bruce,” Carol said as she walked into the kitchen at Avengers Tower the next morning.

“Hey, Carol,” he replied, his face carefully neutral, “how was your night last night?"

“Fine, fine,” she replied, “absolutely normal, nothing out of the ordinary.”

“Was it now?”

“You look a bit surprised, Bruce,” Carol grinned, “Expected to see me looking a bit disgruntled today?”

Bruce sighed. “How’d you figure it out?”

“Kit said it was a truck delivering buckets of _kale chips_ ,” Carol rolled her eyes, “Seriously, Bruce? You gonna be that obvious?”

“It’s not _obvious!_ ” Bruce objected, “But I know you appreciate the green stuff, and I thought…”

“It’d be cute if I had a forest of it in my bedroom,” Carol finished, “Yeah, super cute, Bruce.”

“Hey, go big or go home,” Bruce smiled, “Figured it was worth a shot."

 “Gonna have to try harder next time, Big Guy,” Carol patted Bruce on the shoulder, “Stark and Parker might be gullible enough to fall for your elaborate revenge pranks, but I was in the air force before I joined the Avengers, remember? Keeping an eye out for this kind of thing is part of the job description.”

“This isn’t over,” Bruce called after her as she walked off.

“I’ll keep that in mind!” Carol called back.

***

Carol didn’t have much business in Avengers Tower that day, and after a brief sparring match with Captain America was ready to head home. She paused in the elevator on the way out, though, figuring she should probably make sure all her bases were covered.

“Hey, JARVIS,” Carol said thoughtfully, “Anyone listening in on this?”

“I can make it so that no one is, Captain,” JARIS answered, “Is that what you’d prefer?”

“I’d appreciate it, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course,” JARVIS said, “How else can I be of service, Captain Marvel?”

“Just curious,” Carol said casually, “Has Bruce given you any special orders lately that might affect me? Or at least, my use of the building?”

“He hasn’t, Captain,” JARVIS answered, “But, since you asked, I did notice him doing some research on how to make the security systems hyper-sensitive to Kree DNA. He hasn’t asked me about it personally, but he does have the ability to override certain parts of the building’s security systems.”

“I see,” Carol pursed her lips, “Well then, JARVIS, you’d be doing me a big favor there if you could override any security hacks Dr. Banner puts into the system over the next few days.

“I’m afraid, Captain, that it’s not entirely within the perimeters of my programming to become involved with these sorts of things…”

“Come on now, JARVIS,” Carol grinned, “I’ve got a long memory. Do you really want me to tell Tony about hat time you cancelled his appointments with those calendar girls a few years back?"

A pause.

“It seems you have me there, Captain,” JARVIS said, “I must say, you do excel at self-preservation.”

“It’s how I’ve gotten this far,” Carol grins, “you’re a pal, JARVIS. Thanks.”

***

“This is getting ridiculous,” Jess said, “he _still_ hasn’t caught you?”

“I told you,” Carol said, “I’m unprankable. Big Guy doesn’t stand a chance against me.”

“So you’ve told me,” Jess rolled her eyes, “I would have thought his big brain would have come up with something by now.”

“Hey, my brain’s not half bad either,” Carol protested. Jess shrugged.

“Anyway, Captain America wants any of us who’re here in the gym,” Jess said, “Some group sparring thing, or something.”

“Always up for that,” Carol trailed after Jess towards the elevator.

“I mean, he’s just too predictable,” Carol continued as they approached the gym, “Accomplished fancy scientist like him, he’s going to want to think of the most— _aaargh!_ ”

Carol yelped as she opened the door to the gym and was immediately doused with a gallon’s worth of water as a red bucket clattered to the ground in front of her. She sputtered and pushed her hair back from her face to see Bruce sitting on a bench at the side of the gym, looking up from his Kindle and giving her the same innocent look he’d given her just a few days before.

“Unprankable, huh?” Jess asked sardonically. Carol noticed she was standing a good five feet behind the door.

“Traitor!” Carol exclaimed as she turned to Jess. “Guess I should have known…”

“Hey, I’ve got money riding on this,” Jess grinned, “I bet Stark he’d get you before the week was out."

Carol turned back to Bruce.

“Bucket-over-the-door trick?”  she asked incredulously, “ _Seriously?”_

“Realized I was thinking too big,” Bruce said, clearly trying to contain a grin, “Sometimes, the old-fashioned stuff works the best.”


End file.
